This sadness knows no bounds that even words can’t explain it. I could try to change the world but my heart will remain heavy for a lifetime or even a thousand lifetimes.
I am going to miss you terribly.
Painful it is for us but I take comfort in thinking that you are in a better place now. You are now worlds and lightyears away from people who maligned you, turned their backs against you, and ordered your hapless killing.
You will forever remain as a happy memory to me. The sumptuous dinners I had at your house and the Christmases we spent together will not be forgotten. I am going to miss seeing your name appear on my phone each time you pocket-dial my number or tell me to tell my mom to answer her phone. I am going to miss your sermons and stories about your childhood. I know no place else which serves the best crab and shrimp meals but your home.
I know that you have always been proud of me, maybe even prouder than my parents. I know I promised to be your lawyer when I graduate and we will have all the baseless and malicious cases filed against you dismissed.
I’m sorry that all I am left to work with is a murder case. And it’s yours.
I love you eternally, Auntie. Your death is a tragedy to us but you died fighting for the truth. It was a dignified and honorable way to die. Your life would not be put to waste. The devils do not know that your death ignited a rebellion.
I don’t know if I can be as fierce and smart as you were. But nonetheless, thank you for giving me the reason to become a lawyer.
That’s a question even us law students and many in the profession find hard to answer.
Strictly speaking though, a lawyer shouldn’t render judgment because he is not a judge and it is not his job. What is incumbent on him is to promote and protect the rights of his clients. Whether or not he thinks his client is guilty is beside the point.
But it doesn’t end there and this is what makes the choice complex and complicated— cases and controversies do not simply exist in a vacuum. Here is where personal values, principles and biases come in to the picture.
Whatever kind of lawyer you want to be in the future entirely depends on you.
Has it ever happened to you that you are partly happy, partly sad, partly enraged, partly disappointed and partly hopeful? Because that’s how I feel today—partly.
Maybe that’s the essence of life. Or the side effects of being a law student. Or maybe because I just have different areas in my life I have learned to compartmentalize.
And woah I just came out with something I can recite for Legal Theory tomorrow!
“Dear brothers and sisters, be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen.” (James 5:7, NLT)
God has put dreams and desires in every person’s heart. But most times, there’s a season of waiting involved. Maybe you’re waiting for a relationship to improve; waiting to get married; waiting for a promotion, or waiting to overcome an illness. Much of life is spent waiting. But there’s a right way to wait and a wrong way to wait. Too often, when things don’t happen on our timetable, we get down and discouraged or anxious and fretful. That’s because we’re not waiting the right way.
Notice that today’s verse doesn’t say if you wait; it says as you wait. The fact is that we’re all going to wait. It goes on to say that we should consider how the farmer waits — patiently and eagerly. We’re not supposed to sit around and be discouraged; we’re supposed to be hopeful, positive and full of expectancy!
Today, no matter what you are praying for, expect things to change in your favor. Today could be the day that God turns it all around. As you wait with patience and expectancy, you’ll open the door for God to move. He’ll fight your battles, and you’ll see that abundant harvest He’s promised in every area of your life.
I’ve done my waiting, 12 years! Kidding aside (but I really like that Sirius Black quote), I’ll be patient as I wait for my Juris Doctor. It’s gonna be a long and bumpy ride but it will come. :)
DEAR SECOND SEMESTER OF MY FIRST YEAR IN LAW SCHOOL,
YOU WOULDN’T BE LIKE MY FIRST SEMESTER. FIRST SEM WAS AWESOME BUT THIS TIME I WILL MAKE SURE TO DODGE INJUSTICE BEFORE IT DANCES ON MY GRAVE.
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 1 Corinthians 9:24, NKJV.
So many people today spend valuable time and energy trying to make everyone around them happy. They want to be approved, accepted and affirmed. There’s nothing wrong with that, but you can’t let the opinions of others become your focus or distract you from what God has called you to.
In the natural, when a professional runner races, you don’t see them looking around at the other runners, wondering how they are doing. No, they have their mind focused on one thing: the finish line. They don’t waste valuable energy comparing themselves or wondering what’s going on around them. Instead, they focus on winning the prize. This is how we should be in life—focused on winning the prize of the victor’s crown in life.
My challenge to you today is: run your race. Don’t let people squeeze you into their mold. Remember, you don’t have to try to play up to people. You don’t have to worry about what everyone else thinks. As long as you’re being true to what God has put in your heart, don’t look to the left or to the right. Stay focused on your goals. Run your race to win and honor God in everything that you do!
A Prayer for Today
Father, today and every day I set my focus on you. I declare that I will not look to the left or to the right, but I will fix my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith. Give me wisdom and grace as I dedicate every area of my life to You in Jesus’ name! Amen.
I will run my race. Amen. :)
Laughing and mentally contradicting myself while I am reading it. How can I be so pathetic. Oh well let’s blame my youth, inexperience and unfounded hopefulness. As you know, I am now a law student. I am currently experiencing and living the torture of all times. I can fairly say that being a CPA hasn’t given me much of an edge. All of us are currently swimming in confusion and despair.
Here’s the hard truth my friends: no single undergraduate course will give you an edge in law school. You need to work your ass off big time every single day (and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY including weekends) to be able to satisfy your professors with recitations which is most of the time unacceptable to them BTW. You need more than a few hours of review to pass your exams(a whole week sometimes). You need to say goodbye to sleep and your friends and family. In short, you shut the world down while you are in it.
Well maybe that’s a rather harsh explanation and nobody ever really lives up to that standard but ideally, that is the way it should be. Law school is not supposed to be easy. They purposefully made it terrible.
Discipline and endurance is the key to survive (but wait I haven’t survived my first sem yet and I am not even sure if I both have discipline and endurance). Law school has no place for lazy people. This is not like undergrad where you just try to wing everything. Professors here are serious about the law and so should be the students. That is why it takes us to study for an average of six to eight hours for a two-hour class the next day.
But law school ain’t that bad. There is fun in learning. You get to appreciate the law and the constitution even if it feels like they are beating you to a pulp. You get to make friends out of your block mates and be despair buddies for a life time.
So for all of those who also aspire to be here, making that decision is gonna change your life. I wish you all guidance in taking your leap of faith.
Enroll in law school and let’s be miserable together. <3
I would say that law school is okay (but not really). Okay in the sense that I have been expecting stress and pressure ever since I said to myself that I’m going to be a lawyer. But thinking about it and experiencing it are two very different things. I am loving my stay in law school so far. Having a hard time but I try to get by. BTW I had a great time in answering this TA, no provision or cases to cite. Haha!
I have so much feelings right now. Regret, excitement, joy, sorrow and all the other feelings in the universe nervously rolled into a half-baked me. I just have a lot of feelings lately. Goes to show right? Well, for one there is law school that I enjoy but hate at the same time. This is a bipolar post, I know somehow I got to check tumblr once in a while and ease the tension I built on my mind. Wait, I’m not even making sense right? I know. Because I am tired of trying to make sense, especially at class when a professor stares at me holding my class card and trying to determine my worth by ascertaining if the words I managed to blurt make sense or not. Oh well. I’m sorry if this post is utterly useless, or just full of rants, or violates the canons of good writing. I don’t care. I just have a lot of feelings and I can’t even explain it. So there. Some of you may have been able to read between the lines. Some of you may dismiss this as junk. And that it occurred to me that I have hundreds of cases to read this week (yea no kidding) and that’s on top of the commentaries/journals so this must be the end of my entry.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She was only four years old. My penis couldn’t possibly fit.
In my defense, it’s not rape. It barely even penetrated.
In my defense, it’s not rape. I’m her boyfriend.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She didn’t report it right away.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She didn’t cry for help.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She didn’t resist.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She can’t even remember when it happened.
In my defense, it’s not rape. Otherwise, why wouldn’t she tell her husband?
In my defense, it’s not rape. She’s not even injured.
In my defense, it’s not rape. I didn’t threaten her!
In my defense, it’s not rape. She can’t get her facts straight.
In my defense, it’s not rape. Other people were nearby.
In my defense, it’s not rape. If she was asleep, she can’t testify to it.
In my defense, it’s not rape if it wasn’t my penis. I just used my finger.
In my defense, it’s not rape. Her hymen didn’t tear.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She didn’t try to escape.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She just wants to get back at me.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She even walked with me afterwards.
In my defense, it’s not rape. “Sinundot-sundot” at “dinilaan” ko lang.
In my defense, it’s not rape. The witness was on her period when she saw us.
In my defense, it’s not rape. How could I have raped her with so many other people in the house?
In my defense, it’s not rape. She didn’t even miss school after.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She’s a liar.
In my defense, it’s not rape. All I did was rub.
In my defense, it’s not rape. The rape charge against me was her mother’s idea.
In my defense, it’s not rape. My wife is filing against me because she had an affair.
In my defense, it’s not rape. She’s a disrespectful and wayward little child! How can you listen to her?
In my defense, it’s not rape. She’s imagining things; probably got the idea from TV.
If you were forced to have sex without your consent, it’s rape.
In defense of rape, there shouldn’t be.
It’s an eternity when I have a notebook page full of doodles of my full name and signature.
I realized I have fourteen office days left. After that, a few days of vacation and bang! I’m back to school.
I am excited and very rattled at the same time. I know all my life this is what I have been dreaming about and now the hodgepodge of feelings is getting in my nerves. I felt like I needed a well-deserved vacation first. A day in the spa, or a trip to post card perfect destinations to ease the tension but hey, ain’t nobody got money for that? My projected book expense is enough to push me to go on a forced diet (which is, like, hitting two birds with a stone).
Also, everybody in law school warned me to get a head start on Javellana vs Executive Secretary if I don’t want to be insulted come recitation time. As expected from a crammer, not a finger was lifted for this arduous task. I still like to sleep, eat and do nonsensical things before I take another step in the ladder of education.
Well that’s about it. This is my way of cleaning the cobwebs of my abandoned blog.